The Illusion Of Perfection

I recently received a flattering message from a dear customer asking what my secret was to not just doing great work, but also finding the time to exercise, cook, etc, and while it made my day, it also made me wonder if I was truly deserving of that compliment… or if any of us are really. 

We must be making it seem to one another like we always have it all together, and that the smiling person in the mirror selfie is nothing less than winning at life, but the sad, and somehow funny truth, is that none of us have it all together, all the time. My mother looked like that – always put together, everything handled – probably only twice or thrice in my life that she was evidently going through a rough patch, but otherwise, she made it seem all effortless, while obviously, that wasn’t the case. The passage of time hasn’t failed to teach me everything that women have to go through, and how it’s all so bloody hard. 

Breaking Free from Expectations?

Whilst chatting with my team at the Jaipur office one time, someone said that a housewife's job was really hard, and it was said in a way to mean it’s possibly harder than a paid professional job, and while it’s no one’s job but your own to measure hard work, it struck me how little the world at large, especially men, understand what goes on in a woman’s life. In a real world, and a not-so-privileged setting, she’s expected to put food on the table both literally and metaphorically, create offsprings, make sure they’re well fed and taken care of and excel at life in general; in perhaps a more privileged one, she’s expected have a social life and be ready to party on the weekends but also make sure the house is running sans glitch the next day; and whatever the socio-economic background, she needs to take care of her body because menstruation and childbirth and menopause and whatnot, but also not be too vain about it… frankly, it’s a lot to handle, and I can’t even begin to think how hard it must be for the single women amongst us, raising kids or plants or pets or the bar in general, and running the house with one less designated hand. 

Navigating Chaos with Balance

And I think it's high time we cut ourselves some slack. My life might look more than comfortable on my feed, and sure, I am trying to hold it all together, but there’s lots of times when I'm pretty much lost… I wake up every morning to people asking me about groceries and laundry, and what’s for lunch and dinner on one hand, and about deadlines and product deliveries on the other. My time and attention is demanded from and divided between a million different things until I have to remind myself why I started. Thankfully, our nanny Mary is adept at being a mother to both Jasper and me, and Ben shares the load at home, while my brilliant team holds fort at work. Still the luxuries of a privileged life, I recognise, and one that I'm sincerely grateful for, but still incredibly hard to navigate. Besides the behemoth task of figuring out products, dimensions, materials, designs, sampling, shooting, listing, there’s my resolve to read and respond to all your messages myself, which is a full job in itself. Most times, I feel like I'm racing against time, and I know most women know that feeling all too well. 

Thriving Amidst Complexities

And it’s all. very. tiring. Growing a little brand, a little child, a little team, and myself, all at the same time. Sometimes I'm left wondering… who's looking after me? Thankfully, we’re now dethroning that toxic concept of a ‘superwoman’ off its pedestal, but why are we still setting these ideals of perfection for ourselves? Are these even achievable goals — to have everything running like clockwork all the time, or are we being too hard on ourselves? And most importantly, despite all the fatigue, why do we still run with it? Is it the fuel that keeps us going? Is it the healthiest? How do you balance it out? Do tell